Norman Marks on Governance, Risk Management, and Internal Audit

Whatever your role within the organization, the ability to listen, really hear, and understand others is crucial.

The concept of active listening takes the idea further.

Skills you need has an excellent article on the topic. I like what it says:

Active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the ‘active listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening – otherwise the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener.

Interest can be conveyed to the speaker by using both verbal and non-verbal messages such as maintaining eye contact, nodding your head and smiling, agreeing by saying ‘Yes’ or simply ‘Mmm hmm’ to encourage them to continue. By providing this ‘feedback’ the person speaking will usually feel more at ease and therefore communicate more easily, openly and honestly.

The article goes on to describe some of the techniques used by effective listeners. An easy search will turn up many more useful articles on the topic.

I saw this graphic that may be of interest.

But there is more.

You have to have the intent to listen.

I tell people that they should never go to talk to anybody. Instead they should go to listen.

Tom Peters and I discussed this in the context of “managing while walking around”. I suggested changing it to “managing while listening around”, and after thinking about it he agreed.

You have to have the intention and you need to make the time.

It requires patience and a genuine desire to listen and learn.

If you are talking to somebody more than 40% of a time, you are talking too much and not listening enough.

When I was trained in interviewing techniques (and also in interrogations – as part of a fraud investigation), I learned that you need to make sure you are listening not only to what is said but what is not said.

You need to continue to listen (usually by asking questions like, “what else should I know” and “you still seem troubled, what else is bothering you”) until the other person has said everything that is on their mind.

During a management training class, we covered active listening and I suggested (and the idea caught on) that we need to listen not only with our ears (and mind), but with our eyes.

If 70% – 90% of communications are non-verbal, the only way we can hear them is with our eyes.

Active listening is hard. I encourage everybody not only to study it, but to practice it again and again.

Use the techniques in every situation where you need to engage and hear.

But be careful using the techniques with your life partner. I have heard of somebody coming home from a training class, listening in a different way to their spouse and being accused of using something they learned during the class against their annoyed partner.

I welcome your comments – and please provide links to help others.